“You must have been inspired by the on-going campaign by our media people to hammer out a code of conduct?” I asked him. “It shows how keen they are to promote moral behaviour.”

“Indeed,” Mr Right replied. “They want their competitors to follow the code of conduct in letter and spirit. In the same manner, I want my neighbours to prove their civility.”

“But why neighbours?” I quizzed him.

“Because very recently I read an Arab proverb that says lying and stealing are next door neighbours,” Mr Right said.

“So what do you want them to do? I think you don’t want them to do things which people don’t like?”

“I don’t want them to do things which I would like to do,” Mr Right grinned. “Various media groups are trying to set morality guidelines for others.”

“You seem to have some misunderstanding about their effort,” I said. “Otherwise, the code of conduct proposed by media organisations is meant to ensure better ethical standards.”

“I wish it works,” Mr Right said. “Otherwise I have no choice but to agree with an American sage who says that there’s hole in moral O-zone and it’s getting bigger.”

“But I have no doubt about it after reading the code of conduct proposed by one media group and another by an official agency that most TV channels will start classes in good etiquette and politeness for their anchors and  honourable guests very soon,” I said.

Mr Right’s face lit up. “If this is the case, I would like to offer my services for free coaching in good manners.”

“I hope media moguls will try to benefit from your generous offer,” I said. “But the area which needs immediate attention is revision of the programme menu at TV channels. I am sorry to say that a lot of time is being wasted on news bulletins. The Breaking News slots about thefts of cows and goats in far flung areas are enough to satisfy the people’s lust for latest news.”

Mr Right agreed. “Reports about thefts, big or small, are always welcome because these make us realise that there is at least one sector of economy which is showing increased activity.”

“But one should ensure that morality standards are not compromised,” I cautioned.

“This may be done by including a clause in the code of conduct that in keeping with the tradition of cooking shows, participants should come smartly dressed and must praise each other’s clothes, hairdo and looks,” Mr Right suggested.

“Another important point for inclusion in the code of conduct should be about reporting of law and order situation,” I pointed out.

“Oh, yes,” Mr Right said. “In fact, there is no need to discuss law and order in TV shows, because the whole country knows that every law is now in court for want of clarification and rulers are free to play with orders.”

“The proposed code of conduct might bring some discipline in production and presentation of TV shows, but I hope this does not make them bland and boring,” I said. “Participants will stop abusing each other and retired airline hostesses will grace the show with their ugly presence in place of vivacious Veena Maliks and Miras.”

“I don’t expect this to happen as channel owners are wise enough to wait for the implementation of the code by others first,” Mr Right commented.

“And if suppose they agree to do it?” I asked.

“Then, the power supply company will come to the rescue of the TV buffs by switching off electricity as usual,” Mr Right remarked.

Najmul Hasan Rizvi is a former Assistant Editor of Khaleej Times